Advice to: My 21 Year Old Self

January 27, 2017

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Many of us have a ton of regrets from our 20’s. Makes sense! While we were technically adults, parts of our brain was under-developed. Namely, the prefrontal cortex which is responsible for decision making, planning, processing and expressing emotions, and moderating social behaviors. Our inability to function optimally due to neurological development kind of reminds me of the saying, “the devil made me do it!”

I’m not sure about you, but I’d totally redeem an offer for a “do-over.” This is obviously impossible so, all I can do at this point is shake my head at my 21-year-old self and thank God I’ve grown and matured (lol).

Honestly though, I’m not completely ashamed of who I was at 21. I owned a successful business, and I was preparing to purchase my first home. These two aspects of my life were probably the most solid things I had going. My personal life on the other hand, was a WRECK! One terrible decision after another, I was drowning in a pool of yuck.

If I was in the position to give advice to my 21-year-old self, I would say:

  1. “You can’t do it all on your own. It’s ok to ask for help!”
  2. “Cry!”
  3. “Trust your instincts!”
  4. “You don’t have to force or chase LOVE. What’s for YOU will be FOR YOU!”
  5. “Have fun dating!”
  6. “Be ok with saying no!”
  7. “Trust the process!”
  8. “Stay curious!”
  9. “Pay attention to your triggers and learn from them.”
  10. “Silence is a powerful response.”
  11. “Guard your integrity ferociously!”
  12. “Take time for yourself.”
  13. “Go to counseling to work through your trauma.”
  14. “Pay attention to what matters the most to you.”
  15. “Receive Jesus Christ into your heart and life.”
  16. “Learn what it means to love and to be loved.”

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  • Kirstin January 27, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    I’m starting to reflect on my 20’s now and I dare say this is when life got challenging on all fronts. I love the advice, #3 and #16 I really could’ve used!

    • Veronica January 28, 2017 at 9:24 am

      Yep, I think challenging is the perfect word. Our 20’s stretch us in every way imaginable. Fraught with lessons. #3 and #16 were and still have been sort of tough for me to truly embrace as well.

  • Shaliss January 30, 2017 at 9:49 am

    “If I knew then what I know now…” is an understatement in regards to love, faith, purpose, time management, career… etc. Lol! My 20’s were somethin’ else… amazing and extremely challenging but Lord knows I have grown a lot since then. 🙂 Great post as usual.

    • Veronica January 30, 2017 at 12:30 pm

      I’m so glad to know I didn’t suffer through my 20’s alone lol. But if it wasn’t for that period of our lives, who would we be now?

      • Shaliss January 31, 2017 at 5:21 pm


  • Shania February 3, 2017 at 8:02 am

    Ahhh, The Roaring 20’s!!! “Life comes at you fast” is the perfect phrase for that period in my life. Certainly a building block for the rest of your life… the good, the bad and the ugly ??! Great advice, Great post! ?

    • Veronica February 3, 2017 at 8:53 am

      It certainly does come at you fast in our 20’s. AND we’re definitely ill-equipped to handle it. Crazy though how things start to balance out, the closer we get to 30. Thanks Shania 🙂