How Vulnerability Got Such A Bad Rap

February 9, 2017

Vulnerability Main

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For some, vulnerability is something they avoid at all costs. After all, being vulnerable is a weakness right?

Well…maybe. According to its definition, vulnerability is, “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.” Guess there’s no need to look any further. No wonder why being vulnerable seems so unappealing to folks, huh?

But wait, it just so happens this posture of being open to possibly being attacked or harmed is the very thing that’s required to enable us to truly love and be loved. I know…terrible! But it’s this willingness to risk looking “weak” (aka the absence of pride) that allows us to authentically and deeply connect with one another. It’s what builds trust and intimacy within a relationship.

Here’s the thing…if you haven’t already realized this, LOVE is risky! And this applies to all relationships. When you love another person and open yourself up to also being loved by them, you risk being hurt (period). Sure, you can guard yourself and erect impenetrable emotional walls to prevent yourself from being hurt. But then you also have to accept the bondage that keeps you in. And let me tell you from experience, it’s miserable!

Let’s face it, vulnerability isn’t comfortable. Like the definition references, we end up feeling exposed, and that just doesn’t jibe with most of us. And yet, I’m sure you can’t deny how refreshing it is when you come across someone who is willing to be vulnerable with you. Naturally, it helps you to drop your guard a bit and connect with that person beyond the surface.

I imagine you’ve also experienced the same scenario in reverse. You encounter someone who so obviously lacks self-awareness, they make everything about them, and show little to no regard for you or anything you have to say. If you’re like me, you’re cringing throughout the whole interaction.

So, while being vulnerable may not feel the best on the front end, it bears good and lasting fruit on the back end.

Veronica, what can I do today to become more vulnerable?

Glad you asked 🙂

  1. Choose to do away with cliche responses when asked how you’re doing. So instead of, “I’m doing good.” Try instead, “you know, I’m struggling a bit today. I’ve been really trying to wake up earlier to get things done but I just can’t seem to make it happen. I thought for sure I would wake up early this morning, but of course I hit the snooze button AGAIN.” That was long-winded but you get the point. Share something true instead of giving a trite response.
  2. Verbally acknowledge a flaw or weakness in conversation with someone who doesn’t know you very well.
  3. Ask for help on something you’ve been fumbling through and ALLOW the person to help you.

I know this seems risky, but trust me. Making these small adjustments can bring about deeper connections with people and lead to a more fulfilling day-to-day life. Let me know how this goes for you.


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